If you have been on the blog for long you know 2 things: I am obsessed with someday killing a drop-tine buck…and I am deathly afraid of snakes, any snake, garter to rattler. I shiver just writing it.

Well, David Syfert, who has been on BIG DEER for years, saw this picture on Facebook and decided to post it on my wall to freak me out. Thanks, man :)

Supposedly the evil serpent is from the Georgia woods. Somebody pointed out that the rattlers looked funny and fake. I don’t know about any of that, but I do know this: If I were out hunting and ran into that thing, my heart would explode. I mean, literally, explode. No more blog, no more TV show, no more Hanback. Done.

Reminds me, we were down in South Texas (bad rattlesnake country) hunting and filming this past January. It was warming up, and everywhere we went people would say, “Watch it, snakes are gonna be out.” One guy told me, “I’ve only killed 3 so far this year,” like it was no big deal. I had my snake boots on and my snake antenna high, but still I was edgy as hell, and everybody knew it.

Buddies Sarge and Miller pulled the first prank. At the first ranch we hunted, Sarge hid his kid’s green rubber snake in my Yeti. I opened the cooler one night, reached in, almost touched the thing and went flying through the air, cussing and hyperventilating, knocking stuff over. Sarge thought that was real funny, and Miller about busted a gut laughing from his hiding spot.

A week later at another ranch, Danny Dodge, the lead videographer for BIG DEER TV, wanted to do some close-up filming of a rattlesnake, maybe poke him and film him striking the camera. Fine, you’re on your own I told him. For days he looked in the rocks and under mesquite bushes, hunting a snake. One day at lunch, he came back from one of his snake hunts, snuck up behind me and rattled box of rocks by my leg. I jumped and flipped around, and he stuck a belt in my face and shook it wildly and hissed. I about fell off the porch and ran like hell, panting and heaving. Sarge and everybody standing around thought that was hilarious.

Sarge and Miller, I can see. But Danny? I thought you were a good guy, but I underestimated you my friend. To all 3 of you: Paybacks are hell boys.

To everybody else, watch out for snakes this weekend. And if you do see one, smash or shoot its head off for me.